block tests are finally over. it's been the most stressful week i've ever had! even more stressful than promos! the night before gp, i laid in bad for five hours, occasionally getting up to check the time, trying to sleep. and i didnt sleep a wink! the next night, the night before maths, i did the same thing! but this time, i laid in bed for 3 hours with my eyes closed. and of course i heard the occasional roars from the soccer fans. the next night!! it was a miracle. i managed to sleep for 4 plus hours. and the night before my chinese paper, i slept for 2 plus hours.

i realised when u r really stressed and u really wanna do well, no matter how tired u r, u will still have the energy to go on. but NO, i am not gonna do well this time (just like all the last-times)! chem made me soooo demoralised. i freaked out once i saw the first question. and then it was a goner. and i felt the extra disappointment this time. maybe it's because i really put my heart and soul into studying this time. arghhh. i wish i could do a lit paper. puii. no matter how hard i try to get out of apts, i cant! ohnooo, am i gonna stay in apts for the rest of the months left in jc? so so sarky.

went out with 5/8 of the clique to marina square to catch Scary Movie 4 after chinese paper yesterday. actually, i dont really find the movie very funny. haha. i especially liked the part when the american president said they were gonna discuss bout what he prononunced as the AHN when it was actually UN (United Nations)! it was hilarious. and the part where ju-on said " tempura, sushi, sashimi" and the part when the two guys quarelled just becos they unlocked and pulled the handle of the car door at the same time. some parts were pretty siiick, and really irked me. ha, but my friends sure liked the siiick parts! other parts were just way lame. i think peirong can narrate bout the show and do a better job!! she's a joy to have - a walking joke. hahaha. finally could sleep with no worries last night! 10 hours! heavenly!!

to slack for now..

happened to chance upon this photo in my folder!! haha! those were the times back in rv! hAppY 18th biRthdAy H0lym0h~!! (:

oh maaann..i am soooo sad. uurgghh!! skorea's out of world cup already. sighhh. thought they could at least make it to top 16. they were the most possible asian team to make it to the next round (at least that's what i thought) and they didnt. and it doesnt help when i still have a heap of notes to plough through. what a great way to end the holidays. ): oh maaann..i am soooo sad. uurgghh!! skorea's out of world cup already. sighhh. thought they could at least make it to top 16. they were the most possible asian team to make it to the next round (at least that's what i thought) and they didnt. and it doesnt help when i still have a heap of notes to plough through. what a great way to end the holidays. ):

the korean team!!

ahn jung hwan and park ji sung!

hahaha ahn jung hwan =D

(credits to fifaworldcup.com)

i have no idea why nicky is staring at me like that.. nicky's a sad boy today. due to my sister's working trip to KL and my parents' short holiday to malacca, he has to have dog food for dinner. poor nicky boy hasn't eaten dog food for such a long while now. he eats rice, vege and meat specially steamed for him everyday. and today, due to my mum's disapproval of me using the gas stove, he has to have dog food for dinner. but i was super nice to him. i hit 4 of his cheese biscuits and pieces of his fish sticks in his bowl. nicky's still staring at me.. anw, he didnt really finish his food. guess it's too dry. he drank quite alot of water and..PEED ON THE FLOOR. sigh. i wonder when he'll stop staring at me. he's probably cursing me for not knowing how to use the gas stove. too bad. after he finished with dinner, i gave him a new toy. i don't care if my sister bought it. i don't care if my sister asked my mum to present it to him (she prolly forgot). the best thing is that i presented it to him after a series of handshakes and lie-downs and bangs! so i am the good person now. yay. he just can't stop staring at me. i think he likes me. heh. oh btw, i think frank lampard is good. no, i don't know anything bout soccer. i am still waiting for ahn jung hwan to appear. ha. i'm afraid how things might backfire.

two weeks left. the image of sitting infront of my papers, the feeling of having done nothing after a paper has ended, the scene whereby our papers are returned, the announcement of getting into the various lecture grps thru banding, the "study-or-not-the-result-will-still-be-the-same" thinking --- they are all freaking me outtt. sometimes i really feel that i'm studying not cos i want good grades, not cos i wanna prove myself, not for anyone. but simply cos i am scared. i really don't want history to repeat itself..the sequels are continuously playing in my head.i don't wanna face all these, yet.. i thought of how i didnt even dare to say "i don't like studying" in the past..it may sound stupid, but this was how i was last time. maybe that thinking got me going, but now i really wish to express my dislike for studying. sighhh. and i wonder why my languages, seemingly my forte in the past, are now going downhill. sighhhhh.

things shall now come to a standstill, i guess. as much as i hope i could, i realise i cant afford to place hopes on something that has such a low probability of success. i am not upset, not pissed or whatsoever with anyone..just disappointed with myself.